Good things don't end in 'eum,' they end in 'mania' or 'teria
Author: Homer Simpson

Homer, I don’t want to leave Springfield. I’ve dug myself into a happy little rut here and I’m not about to hoist myself out of it
Author: Marge Simpson

I always get the blame around here! Who threw a cane at the TV? Who fell into the china hutch? Who got their dentures stuck on the toilet?
Author: Grampa Simpson

I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean, S-M-A-R-T!
Author: Homer Simpson

I don't have to be careful, I've got a gun
Author: Homer Simpson

I think its ironic that for once dad's butt prevented the release of toxic gas
Author: Bart Simpson

I won't lie to you, fatherhood isn't easy like motherhood
Author: Homer Simpson

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman
Author: Homer Simpson

If you really want something in this life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the numbers
Author: Homer Simpson

It is better to watch things then to do them.
Author: Homer Simpson

Lets just plop them in front of the TV. I was raised in front of the TV and I turned out TV
Author: Homer Simpson

Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos
Author: Homer Simpson

Lisa: Bart, do you realise what this means? The next time we fall asleep we could die! Grampa: Ehhh, welcome to my world.
Author: Grampa Simpson

Marge, don’t discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals … except the weasel
Author: Homer Simpson

Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen
Author: Homer Simpson

Marge, it's 3 AM. Shouldn't you be cooking or something?
Author: Homer Simpson

Marge, what's wrong? Are you hungry? Sleepy? Gassy? Gassy? Is it gas? It's gas, isn't it?
Author: Homer Simpson

Me Fail English? That's Unpossible!
Author: Homer Simpson

Oh, so they have internet on computers now!
Author: Homer Simpson