Woody Allen Quotes

Found 216 quotes by Woody Allen .
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Woody Allen
"Eighty percent of success is showing up."
Woody Allen
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American Director inspirational Quote of the Day
Woody Allen
"I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own."
Woody Allen
American Director Funny
Woody Allen
"A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark."
Woody Allen
Relationships
Woody Allen
"I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member."
Woody Allen
Club
Woody Allen
"Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast."
Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
"There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?"
Woody Allen
American Director Death
Woody Allen
"The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind -- a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house."
Woody Allen
God
Woody Allen
"A ''Bay Area Bisexual'' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires."
Woody Allen
Sex
Woody Allen
"I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose."
Woody Allen
American Director Funny Quote of the Day
Woody Allen
"Some actors like the total freedom Woody gives them, but I like to have some parameters, some structure."
Woody Allen
Acting And Actors
Woody Allen
"Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best."
Woody Allen
Woody Allen
"Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?"
Woody Allen
American Director
Woody Allen
"I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens."
Woody Allen
American Director
Woody Allen
"Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime."
Woody Allen
Punishment
Woody Allen
"If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative."
Woody Allen
American Director Failure
Woody Allen
"Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it."
Woody Allen
Causes Love Quote of the Day
Woody Allen
"If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right."
Woody Allen
American Director
Woody Allen
"My brain? That´s my second favourite organ."
Woody Allen
Brain

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