Milton Berle Quotes

Found 22 quotes by Milton Berle .
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Milton Berle
"If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?"
Milton Berle
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American Comedian Evolution Funny
Milton Berle
"A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours."
Milton Berle
American Comedian Funny
Milton Berle
"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door."
Milton Berle
American Comedian Funny
Milton Berle
"Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases."
Milton Berle
Institutions
Milton Berle
"Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies."
Milton Berle
American Comedian Funny
Milton Berle
"I live to laugh, and I laugh to live"
Milton Berle
Laughter

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Milton Berle
"Committee--a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours."
Milton Berle
Committees And Meetings Men
Milton Berle
"Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name."
Milton Berle
American Comedian Experience Funny
Milton Berle
"Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient."
Milton Berle
American Comedian Funny Poverty
Milton Berle
"I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?"
Milton Berle
American Comedian Funny Income
Milton Berle
"The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring."
Milton Berle
American Comedian Company Funny
Milton Berle
"If it wasn't for the olives in his martinis, he'd starve to death!"
Milton Berle
Death
Milton Berle
"We owe a lot to Thomas Edison -- if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight."
Milton Berle
Television
Milton Berle
"A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours."
Milton Berle
American Comedian Funny
Milton Berle
"Laughter is an instant vacation."
Milton Berle
American Comedian Funny
Milton Berle
"I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting."
Milton Berle
American Comedian Funny
Milton Berle
"I live to laugh, and I laugh to live."
Milton Berle
American Comedian Funny

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