Erma Bombeck Quotes

Found 134 quotes by Erma Bombeck .
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Erma Bombeck
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
Erma Bombeck
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American Journalist Funny Quote of the Day Short Funny Top Funny
Erma Bombeck
"When humor goes, there goes civilization."
Erma Bombeck
American Journalist Civilization
Erma Bombeck
"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me."
Erma Bombeck
Action
Erma Bombeck
"My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car."
Erma Bombeck
American Journalist
Erma Bombeck
"Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old."
Erma Bombeck
American Journalist

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Erma Bombeck
"There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt."
Erma Bombeck
American Journalist Comedy
Erma Bombeck
"I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair."
Erma Bombeck
American Journalist
Erma Bombeck
"Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed."
Erma Bombeck
Adult Graduation
Erma Bombeck
"Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?"
Erma Bombeck
American Journalist
Erma Bombeck
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."
Erma Bombeck
American Journalist Automobile
Erma Bombeck
"The bad times I can handle. It's the good times that drive me crazy. When is the other shoe going to drop?"
Erma Bombeck
Bad
Erma Bombeck
"I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food"
Erma Bombeck
Food
Erma Bombeck
"No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday."
Erma Bombeck
Child-raising
Erma Bombeck
"House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad."
Erma Bombeck
American Journalist Attitude
Erma Bombeck
"Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial."
Erma Bombeck
American Journalist Children
Erma Bombeck
"Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, it's unplanned, it's full of surprises."
Erma Bombeck
Humorous

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