Ellen DeGeneres Quotes

Found 111 quotes by Ellen DeGeneres .
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"I was coming home from kindergarten - well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It's good for a kid to know how to make gloves."

Ellen DeGeneres

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American Comedian Childhood Funny

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"Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log."

Ellen DeGeneres

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American Comedian Funny Holidays

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""Here's the analogy. If my body were a car, I'd be thinking about trading it in around now. I would like to upgrade. I would be actually on the lot somewhere and some guy with a loud sports jacket would be sizing me up...kinda lookin' around goin--maybe kickin my knees. Looking behind me going: "That looks a little bashed in back there...Yeah. You mind if I check under the hood?" 'Well yes I do! Thank you very much."(talking about her body and the fact that she's aging.)"

Ellen DeGeneres

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Body

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"[My cat, Ethel, is an indoor cat] but somehow she's sneakin' out at night. 'Cause the other morning I found a stamp on her paw... I wouldn't have noticed myself, but I just bought this new black light and she passed right under it and I said, 'Hey, what's that on you paw?"

Ellen DeGeneres

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Night

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"The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens. We can't be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we're not all there is. If so, we're in big trouble."

Ellen DeGeneres

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Space

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"I would say 'no'! It's such a thankless job. If you do great, nobody mentions it. If you don't, everyone complains. It's a lot of work."

Ellen DeGeneres

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Job

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"My aunt has lost everything, she has nothing. She grabbed four pictures out of her house. She's lost her entire life."

Ellen DeGeneres

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