Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
--Groucho Marx

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
--Abraham Lincoln

Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical
--Yogi Berra

"I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children, they just about throw up
--Barbara Bush

Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC

Murphy's Ninth Law: Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.

Murphy's Tenth Law: Mother Nature is a "son-of-a-gun."

Murphy's Eleventh Law: It is impossible to make anything foolproof, because fools are so very ingenious.

Murphy's Twelfth Law: Things get worse under pressure.

A few additions to Murphy's Laws ...

Murphy's Third Law: In any field of endeavor, anything that can go wrong will go wrong.

Murphy's Fourth Law: If there is a possibility that several things can go wrong, then the one that will cause the greatest damage will be the one to go wrong.

It ain't over till it's over.
--Yogi Berra

'We the willing, following the unknowing are doing the impossible. We have done so much for so long with so little that we are now able to do anything with nothing
--Unknown

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
--Douglas Adams

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
--Voltaire

To study a subject best, understand it thoroughly before you start.

If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.

If mathematically you end up with the incorrect answer, try multiplying by the page number.

When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout!

This is like deja vu all over again.
--Yogi Berra

Murphy's Laws (as posted in Arizona Humor)

Murphy's First Law: Nothing is as easy as it looks.

Murphy's Second Law: Everything takes longer than you think.

Murphy's Fifth Law: If anything absolutely can NOT go wrong, it will anyway.

Murphy's Sixth Law: If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.

Murphy's Seventh Law: Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

Murphy's Eighth Law: If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.