Funny Quotes and Sayings

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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
George Burns

He who dies with the most toys is, nonetheless, still dead.
Anonymous

Here's to you and here's to me, and I hope we never disagree. But, if that should ever be, to HELL with you, here's to ME!
Anonymous

His ignorance is encyclopedic.
Abba Eban

I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for
Dick Martin

I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
J. Liebling


I like to wake up each morning felling a new man.
Jean Harlow

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Douglas Adams

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
Walt Disney

The trouble with some woman is that they get all excited about nothing.
Cher

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
Hector Berlioz

True friends stab you in the front.
Oscar Wilde

We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
General Douglas MacArthur

We the willing, following the unknowing are doing the impossible. We have done so much for so long with so little that we are now able to do anything
Anonymous

We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees
Jason Kidd

You can't leave footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your
Anonymous



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